Reckoner

I have made no secret over the years of my disdain for most of organized religion. Though I would consider myself spiritual in nature, there has been very little affinity in my heart for the halls of human power within which many supposedly devote people of faith have taken shelter. And for decades, that fact greatly disturbed me, for in my mind I assumed that it represented something important which was missing from my life. After all, if I truly was a person of faith, why was I not accepted by any of the major religious orders? Why did Catholics refuse me communion, and Protestants preach to me as if I were a barbarian. It was a source of great consternation for me.

But then something truly momentous graced my life. I was given a Christian Bible to read. I needed no official title in order to open it, nor was I required to read only certain passages while ignoring others, nor did I even need to pay any money. It was a gift: as completely and totally free as the gift of life itself.

And as it turned out, its sacred scriptures were all I needed to begin a journey which continues to this very day. I needed no altar to kneel at, nor any holy manna from heaven to feast upon, nor even a helpful ear to burden with my troubles. All I needed were the erudite teachings of antiquity, passed down from one generation to the next. And from them I was able to learn a great deal: about life, death, and the differences between the two.

I learned for instance that evil often masquerades as good, in order to deceive any many human souls as possible. Christ clearly pointed out that fact in one of His most famous parables, when He likened the Kingdom of heaven to a mighty tree, sprouting from humble beginnings, which the birds of the air would nest in. Fowl are featured in many others biblical passages, and their meaning is almost always the same: they signify the unclean spirits of this world.

Taken together, this and other parables have an unmistakable meaning: that Jesus of Nazareth foretold the founding of a mighty religion – Christianity – within the halls of which malevolent men and women would take shelter in order to escape the consequences of their sinfulness. They (the birds) would not in actuality be the tree of life, nor would they be party to any of its inheritance, but would simply use it for their own selfish survival.

These words have in fact come to fruition. The mighty Christian Church, which has sprouted and grown into nearly every niche of Western society, has proven over the years to have sheltered real monsters within its branches. From the Medici family of the Renaissance Era, to the mammon-worshipping slaveholders of the American Southeast, to the horrors of Jonestown in South America. As with the parable, these people were not the church. They did not constitute the tree of life. They only used it for their own personal ends, just as those who have inherited their legacy continue to do unto this very day.

Meanwhile, many people who have otherwise been completely unaffiliated with Christianity have proven to constitute its strongest roots. Civil Rights activists, doctors, and environmentalists have all inherited a legacy of life, standing in stark contrast to the destructiveness of traditional Christians.

What does this all mean? To me, it means I will continue upon the path I have been following, wherever it may lead. And I will try my best to actually be a person of faith inside, rather than to simply hold a particular religious title, or hang a religious placard upon a wall. Because so far as I can tell, the more a person has in this world, the less they truly are inside. And in the end, who you are within is all that really counts towards salvation.