If You Don't Know Me By Now

For years I have puzzled over a very specific action of Christ. He proved himself capable of taming everyone. Even the most wild of hearts was no match for His Divine Grace. But the one group of people both He and John the Baptist refused ministry to was the Pharisaic Order: the most civilized, most seemingly righteous inhabitants of the ancient world.

Instead, He repeatedly denounced them, proclaiming that such people would receive the "greatest damnation" of all. And His words still echo down through the ages, to the present day.

I will try to explain what I have learned about this mysterious quote thus far. For my study of history has confirmed to me that the most dangerous people in this world are not those who are unashamedly evil. In the end such people cause very little harm to humanity before either being driven to repentance, or succumbing to their own waywardness.

The most dangerous people I have come across are the self-righteous, who are just virtuous enough to crown themselves as saints. In their thirst for violence in pursuit of what they see as worthy goals, they cause untold misery to their brethren in two ways: First, by fooling others into following them into the abyss, and second, by undermining confidence in true righteousness once they finally fail.

Many leaders have fit this description over the millennia. Most have risen to positions of profound societal influence, only to descend into shame and ignominy, having killed untold millions of people, their names becoming hushed curses endlessly whispered upon men's lips in the darkness.

Every time I look in the mirror, I ask myself whether I might be one of these people, who will face the greatest damnation of all. Have I fooled others into thinking of myself as more of a man than I actually am? But just as importantly, have I fooled myself?

I have yet to receive a satisfactory answer to that question. Perhaps I never will. I can only keep doing what I do in the hope that the soap box I often stand upon is a reward for good behavior, and not a punishment for sinfulness. For if the latter, then it is only fattening me for the slaughter. But if the former, then I have a personal duty to continue sharing both my experiences and my perspective with this world.

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